


Five Hunters

by Psyga315



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Adventure, Bards, Bounty Hunters, Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, Fantasy, Gen, Giant Spiders, Hunters & Hunting, Improv, Improvised Plot, Inspired by Roleplay/Roleplay Adaptation, Jesters, Mythic GM Emulator, Original Character-centric, Original setting, Thieves Guild, barbarians - Freeform, rogues - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-17
Updated: 2014-08-17
Packaged: 2018-02-13 12:30:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2150784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psyga315/pseuds/Psyga315
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the tale of Barendd, a bounty hunter who is hired to take care of some nasty, nasty monsters. This is also the tale of four people who get intertwined with him and his hunting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Hunters

**Author's Note:**

> I just had to write up a Dungeons and Dragons fanfic based off 5th Edition. Same like Esoterica Radica in that it's all an original universe.

A brief light shone into the cave as Barendd entered. A strum from a lute echoed into the cave. Barendd glared at his travelling jester.

“What? I’m a musical kind of guy!” Jester said.

“The idea is to get into the cave, kill whatever’s sleepin’ inside, and get out. I only brought you here because I need someone to help me out!” Barendd said.

“Is it not because you’re afraid of the dark?” Jester asked.

“N-no! Shut it! Who the hell told you that? I am absolutely _not_ afraid of the dark!” Barendd looked around to see if they were being followed.

“Suuuure you are… Look, it’s okay to be afraid. I know plenty of people who are afraid of the dark.” Jester said. Barendd held up his hand.

“Shut it. Do you hear that?” Barendd said. Jester listened to the sound of chittering and scrawing. He knew it was the sound of bugs.

“That I do. That I do.” Jester said. A moment passed. “What are they, exactly?”

“Fire beetles.  They’re not far. Come on!” Barendd ran down the end of the cave before they came across a horde of the fire beetles.

“There’s so many of them!” Jester looked at the nest of fire beetles. Instantaneously, the beetles rose to life and fly towards the two. One of them stepped past Barendd right as he instinctively swung his axe towards it. It was chopped in half while Jester winced in disgust.

“Get used to it!” Barendd said. Right after that, a fire beetle tried to bite into Jester, though he too reacted like Barendd and slashed at it with his rapier. The beetle got skewered on the foil’s end. Two of the fire beetles missed while another one met the same fate as Barendd’s previous attacker. One, however, managed to land a bite on Jester. It drew blood as it flew off the bard’s arm.

“YEOUCH!” Jester said.

“CAREFUL! Get behind me, I’m gonna clear ‘em out!” Barendd said to Jester. With one mighty scream, Barendd swung his great axe over to the fire beetle, only for it to fly out of his way. Jester went behind Barendd. He tried to chitter in the same tone and frequency as the fire beetles. As soon as he finished chittering, the beetles flew past them, not even interested in attacking them. Barendd turned around and scratched his head.

“By Snurre’s beard! What did you do?” Barendd asked.

“All I did was just communicate to them and they just left. A few were upset that we killed their mates, but as soon as I said it was by accident, they were fine.” Jester said.

“FOOL! I wanted to kill the bloody bastards! You _don’t_ deny a barbarian his battle in the middle of his tantrum!” Barendd almost swung his axe at Jester before chuckling. “Come along, let’s see if we can spill more blood!” Barendd roared down the caves as Jester followed. He picked up a few of the glands that the beetles had when they were killed.

* * *

As they entered the lower parts of the cave, Jester came across a small scroll.

“Huh? What do we have here?” Jester picked up the scroll and observed the magical inscriptions on it. “Ah! If I’m reading it right, we could be able to charm a person!” He said.

“Wonder how much of value it’d be in the market.” Barendd said. As the two got in closer and closer, they saw a Halfling bound together by silk. Three giant wolf spiders all eyed the same prey, though one of them raised its front legs up and screeched.  “NICE! Time to kill!” Barendd ran into battle. One of the wolf spiders spot Barendd and leap towards him to bite. Its fangs couldn’t dig into the hide armor though. Barendd took this opportunity to swing his axe at the spider. With one swing, he chopped off one of the legs off the spider. The spider screeched loud.

One of the other spiders takes this to its advantage and tried to feast on the prey. The Halfling ceased up from the poison. Jester strummed on his lute and spoke to the wolf spider attacking Barendd.

“ _Now, poor friend, for what purpose are you to fight a losing battle?_ ” He sang.

“Food… More… Food…” While Barendd could hear pained chitters from the spider, Jester could perfectly hear what the spider was saying.

“ _Well, we are not food, just travelling story-weavers. Let us through and we will leave you be…_ ” Jester sang. The wolf spider left Barendd alone, but another one leaped to attack him. Fortunately, Barendd was more than prepared for it and swung his axe at the wolf spider. He pinned it to the ground and impaled it to the ground along with his axe. The sound of the spider’s flesh ripping apart mixed with the sound of rocks splitting echoed and the spider jumped away from Barendd. Barendd pulled his axe from the ground as the wolf spider pounced on the other remaining wolf spider. It bit onto its back and injected its poison onto it. The spider ceased to move and outright died from the poison. The wolf spider looked over to the two heroes.

“Go… Food… Me…” The spider said to Jester. Barendd still heard chitters, but he followed Jester into the caves while the spider ate the Halfling.

* * *

“That was, like, the second animal we spared today. What the hell is wrong with you? You’re more one with nature than the Elves!” Barendd said.

“You must not see these creatures as monsters, rather just agents of nature itself. You’re a barbarian, right?” Jester asked.

“Sure, I’m like one of those blood-thirsty Orcs you hear tales of in the tavern. Raping women, pillaging villages, plundering treasure. The whole thing.” Barendd said.

“Wow, so you really _are_ one! I have such incredible stories to share then…” Jester said.

“I WAS KIDDING, YOU DAMNED GNOME!” Barendd struck Jester with his fist.

“Ouch!” Jester said.

“Crap! Sorry about that!” Barendd said.

“That’s okay… It’s not like there’s a giant spid- There’s a giant spider, isn’t there?” Jester asked. Barendd nodded as the two saw a large spider sleeping in a nest full of devoured warriors.

“Alright, time to clear this cave and gain a bounty!” Barendd walked into the cave and got ready his axe. Jester, however, went in his way.

“Wait! Let me handle this!” Jester said.

“Sure, go ahead. Make my day.” Barendd said. “Get him to find a new cave.” He said.

“Will do!” Jester said. He went up to the giant spider and strummed.

“ _Hello there, sleeping creature! Sorry to wake you with this exquisite feature! I want to request something for you: leave the cave or it will be your grave!”_ He sang.

“Threat… Food… Yum…” The spider rose up.

“ _Now, now, surely you can compromise here! Perhaps a charm will-”_ He reads the scroll, which had in red text: ONLY WORKS ON HUMANOIDS “Shit.” He muttered. The giant spider closed in on Jester and tried to bite him. The fangs enter his back and he falls unconscious. In the time it took for that to happen, Barendd ran up to the spider to try and kill it, only for his axe to miss. The spider tries to attack back, but fails to do so. It was only when the counterattack landed did the spider get massively damaged, green blood spilled from its wound.

The spider’s fangs pierce through the hide, but he managed to cut him away before the poison seeped in. The spider leaped back and out of its abdomen came a sticky silk. The silk stuck onto Barendd and hardened. He was trapped in a web. Barendd struggled to break the bindings while the spider closed in on him. Barendd got bit once more but he managed to break through the bindings just as the spider was about to inject his poison and he rammed the axe right into its maw. The spider screeched before it died, the blood oozing out from its wounds. Barendd stumbled a bit before he passed out.

* * *

Barendd woke up with hot sand on his hands. The waves crashed as he looked up to the Halfling that they saw attacked by the spiders.

“I have to say, I’m glad they sent a Barbarian to do a thief’s job.” The Halfling twirled around a mummified goblin’s hand.

“What in the name of Orcus is that?” Barendd asked the thief.

“This is what lied in the cave. A real grand treasure, if I do say so myself. You killed the monster lurking inside it and I reaped its rewards. They’ll sing stories of how I recovered this artifact. Not for you guys though. You guys have a different fate. Ta-ta!” With that, the thief ran off and behind him were a gang of giant crabs frothing…

They were hungry indeed.


End file.
